1. |
An Age Like This
02:12
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2. |
In Questionable Shape
02:07
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It means something when we say it means nothing
It means something when we lie and say that
It means nothing when we know that it means everything
And all the ways in which we die
When you just know
Your brain's ready to just walk out that door
But your heart's still beating and you know
Tomorrow won't bring you any closer
To the things you promised yourself
All the traces, all the faces
That haunt me in my sleep, they haunt me
All the choices, all the voices
That sing me from my sleep, they sing now:
"You will never amount to anything but
Endless lists of self doubt
And things you never figured out"
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3. |
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I started back up with my pill taking
And I lost all respect for myself
I spend most of my nights steady shaking
And I can't control myself
And I'm sick of people telling me it's all right
And I'm sick of people telling me I'm gonna be fine
Because everyone's out to get me and so are you
Everyone else has left me so, Why wouldn't you?
Sometimes I think it might be time to reassess my lot in life
But even if I did could I change the things I didn't like?
Is this what it's supposed to feel like?
Am I supposed to feel like my life
Is going off with my consent?
It's a train and I'm tied to the tracks
Is this what it's supposed to feel like?
When I'm alive
Aren't I supposed to feel alive?
Ain't there supposed to be parties? Ain't there supposed to be lights?
And aren't I supposed to be happy? Or at least all right?
Ain't there supposed to be dancing? Ain't there supposed to be fun?
And aren't I supposed to miss this when it's done?
Is this what it's supposed to feel like?
Am I supposed to feel like my life
Is going off with my consent?
It's a train and I'm tied to the tracks
Is this what it's supposed to feel like?
When I'm alive
Aren't I supposed to feel alive
But the truth is, I'm scared
I'm lonely and barely there
The future has no lights, can't make my way in the dark
I don't know how to get the fuck off my ass and start
World's spinning too quickly, I can feel my stomach turn
Too lazy to fix this, too stubborn to learn
The system is unjust and I don't want to be a part
Of this machine that propels us toward God knows what
Not enough of us are wondering, "Hey, what the fuck?"
I'm sick of feeling like I'm fighting a war and out of luck
I'm scared I won't know what to do when it comes down to me
I'm scared I'll stay the same and end up unfulfilled and lonely
Don't want to work a nine to five, don't want to live, don't want to die
Don't want to sleep, don't want to wake, don't want to shit, don't want to shake, fuck!
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4. |
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I don't smoke because if I did
I would smoke CBCs or Marlboro Reds because
You'll die from any kind of cigarette
But I'd make sure that I felt like it
I would smoke my lungs black
I'd smoke holes in my neck
I would smoke until my chest was filled with fire
Until my skin was dry and cracked
Would break with every bend and stretch
I would smoke until my body got too tired
I don't drink because if I did
I would drink myself into oblivion
I would pickle my liver in gin
I would fall back down, never get up again
I would puke up my life
Flush it straight down the pipes
Hey, out of sight, out of mind!
I would marinate my organs
Filled up and drained again
I'd be the epitome of a vessel poorly designed
I don't trust me with me
I don't trust me with anything
I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy on a road to self-annihilation
Through public acts of humiliation for the sake of entertainment
I don't trust me with me
I don't trust me with anything
I don't love because if I did
I don't think I could handle it
I have to try so hard when we kiss
Because I can feel myself slipping in
With every conversation, with every vacation
I'm slow-motion stumbling in
Against my better judgment, I'm starting to let go of it
I'm letting that if turn into a did
(Kobe!)
(Bryant!)
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5. |
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I'm on empty in every way you could mean
My heart, my car, my mp3, my wallet, and my body
But I'm still driving, I'm still running, I'm still singing, I'm still gunning, as far as I can see
And that's no surprise if you know me
And man, you know me
In all honesty, baby
I don't know where I'll sleep tonight
If a good friend calls from far away
Baby, I just might
Be speeding down 23 before my conscience can say to me,
"You ain't got the gas or the time or dollars and dimes
Just responsibility and a child's mind
You can keep on living like you're last in line
But when it's time, don't come crawling to me"
It's time to grow up, it's time to be boring
You gotta show up on time for everything
You gotta abandon all those stupid dreams and live life on your fucking knees
You gotta lose your dignity
In all honesty, baby
I don't know where I'll sleep tonight
If a good friend calls from far away
Baby, I just might
Be speeding down 23 before my conscience can say to me,
"You ain't got the gas or the time or dollars and dimes
Just responsibility and a child's mind
You can keep on living like you're last in line
But when it's time, don't come crawling to me"
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6. |
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I wish my god had a kingdom
I wish my god had a son
I wish my god saved a place for me
When my time was done
I wish my god had some scripture
I wish my god had mysterious ways
That would make me feel better about
All the bad things that came my way
But my god, if he exists at all
Is not the greatest big but the greatest small
And my god, if he exists at all
Has never been there for me at all
It's not for lack of trying
I used to pray every night and
I would ask for the smallest sign
I would've taken anything He'd like
And I put my head in the holy water
And I came like the lamb to the slaughter
I sang the hymns to the Holy Father
I sang them harder, I sang them louder!
What a God! What a God!
What a glorious God!
What a glorious God is He!
Can You hear me? Are You listening?
I'm tired of singing my heart out and nobody letting it in
Can you hear me? Are you listening?
I'm tired of singing my heart out and nobody letting it in
Can you hear me at all?
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7. |
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I feel the same as I did when I was six years old
And oh my god, I feel so old
I really don't feel anything
It takes cowardice to be this alone
But it's easy to make it look like you're brave
And if it weren't for you, I would not be here today
But nothing remains of the person you saved
So I called out for God, but no one was home
So I called out for you, but you left me alone
We all know how this goes, I'm broken and broke
In the back seat of a Ford where your sister did coke
My shoes on my hands, my pillow a coat
My head on the note on the side of the road
In my wildest dreams I never guessed this is how I would go
This is how I will go
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8. |
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I like to blame things on the underwear I was wearing
If I have a bad day those fuckers get put away
I like to blame things on the weather, rain or shine
It's too hot, it's too cold, oh my, oh my
I like to blame things on how much cologne I was wearing
I put too much on, came on too strong, that's what went wrong
I like to blame things on genetics and genes, those fucking things
I like to blame things on anybody else but me
I like to blame things on the fears that I haven't conquered yet
Like being abandoned and not being content
Heaven knows I've been there before
Hell knows I'll be there quite a few times more
I try too hard, come off too soft
And I'm scared of everyone I see
And I know there's a proper place for this stuff
But it's nowhere near me
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried to tell the truth
But you and I both know that's so hard to do
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried to tell the truth
Isn't that what Jesus would want me to do?
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried to tell the truth
But you and I both know that's so hard to do
I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried to tell the truth
But I could not make it through
I tried, I tried, I tried to do everything right
I tried to keep God in mind
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9. |
The Vowels (Part Two)
03:31
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Lyrics by Yoni Wolf of "Why?"
I'm not a ladies man, I'm a landmine
Filming my own fake death
Under an 88 Cavalier I go
But but but but nothing but the rear bumper's blown
But I was born for this flight
United 955 on the fifth of July
Back to SFOI, I join the dark side
In a thin disguise, on consumer grade video at night
Faking suicide for applause in the food courts and malls
And cursing racing horses on chariot steps
Playing them all at singles bingo, all time gringo
Did anyone hear me cry there?
Through a toilet stall divider
I swear I care, God!
And am I an example of a calculated birth?
To a star chart for clowns? I'm not!
Under robins eggs in a nest
You hid a manilla envelope with one last little robin egg in it
A hollow bullet yet, spent
Subject to dismissal, I wish all my pitfalls could be culled by this call
Cheery-a
Cheery-e
Cheery-i
Cheerio
Cheeri-u
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10. |
Facing Unpleasant Facts
02:48
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Late at night in the middle of a city
Where nobody knows me
And I can't stop feeling like
I fucked up somewhere
But I guess it was silly of me
To think that our loyalty
Was anything special at all
But I thought we were better
That we'd stick together
Through the thick and thin
I guess I was wrong again
I went to your house yesterday
To pick up stuff from Saturday
And I left a little bit
In case I wanted to come back in
I know it's pathetic
You stabbed me in the back and
I just keep calling back, man
Like nothing ever happened
But it did
I want you to hate yourself
I want you to hate yourself
I want you to hate yourself
And that makes me hate myself
I need to know that what I believed
Wasn't just what I wanted to believe
I need to know that you miss me
Because missing you is killing me
I should just let go, I should just let go
And it makes me hate myself
I want you to know that I don't want you to know
That you made me hate myself
I want you to hate yourself
Because I hate myself
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11. |
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I got a message for my heroes
The people in whom I see all the things I want to be
Well I don't need you
Because I won't rest until all of the things I want to be are me
I got a message for my medicine
The little pills in which I gave too much control over me
Well I don't need you
Because I won't let these chemicals be my identity
And I don't believe them when they say
That things just have to be this way
Because I finally got the guts
To stop letting good enough be fucking good enough
To all of my ex friends and girlfriends
The people to whom I gave all of me, well guess what?
I don't need you
I'm stronger than I ever thought that I could be
I'm almost happy, well can you believe that?
After all the times I have laid on the tracks
Well I can feel it getting easier
And I want to be brave, won't take no for an answer
I will live each day harder and faster than
The day before because there is no ever after
Just a full stop not a fucking semi-colon
I want to be brave and make the most of it
Don't believe them when they say
Things have to be this way
That things can't and will not change
We can't do anything
We're stronger than the shackles that bind us
We're not gonna die like this
We have the guts, never let good enough
Be fucking good enough
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12. |
Coming Up For Air
03:14
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And when I die, my footprints will be erased
My words and screams will fade away
No one will remember by name or face
Repeat after me, "And that's okay!"
And when we die, we'll just decompose
And insects will make nests out of our bones
We'll be together until the sun explodes
Repeat after me, "We're not alone!"
And when we die, we'll be free!
From this never ending cycle of mediocrity
From disappointment! From c'est la vie!
Ready?
I'm not afraid! I'm not okay!
But I'm getting better everyday!
And I'm not waiting for some kind of sign
My life is mine and only mine!
If there's a God, he's just like me
Scared and fucking lonely!
I'm not afraid to be forgotten
Because we're not here to sign our names
But to scream and shout them
I don't know what I'm gonna do
I don't know if I ever want to
I'm alive and that's just fine with me
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13. |
Shooting An Elephant
08:21
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I'm as bitter as I've ever been
I'm as angry as I was back then
I'm as restless as a sinner in the pew
I'm not better, sorry I thought I was
I'm falling down, not catching up
I can't help but compare myself to you
And I know it's romanticized
Our fates were never entwined
It always felt like something missing
But it's as good an excuse as any
To drown myself in baths of pity
To always be in need of listening
I'm no better than the things I hate
The hypocrites, ignorants, the fakes
Who the fuck am I to say I'm right?
And I hide behind these selfish songs
With this smile I held all along
Just waiting for the camera's flashing light
I'm an asshole who thinks he has the right
To ask for your applause every Friday night
When all he's done is make himself the victim
I'm a self-important, no talent hack
Idealizing the things I lack
Instead of sucking it up and trying to earn them
And living with the grand illusion
Presenting my flaws in grand collusion
Will somehow make them more okay
They say you only have to live with yourself
But I'm trying to work that part out
So I can live a block or two away
It's getting harder to believe
In my false sense of superiority
That the drugs I don't do and the meat I don't eat
Somehow make you not as good as me
And I could not beat them but I did not join
I hit the mark but I missed the point
Alone for the weekend, for the rest of my life
While everyone else laughs and passes the light
And I look myself in the face
And ask, "What was the fucking point anyway?"
It's getting easier to doubt
All of the things that I used to shout
With my fist in the air, revolution in my mouth
Gone bitter and cold from never coming out
My immature ideals, so unrealistic
And my words on a page, so narcissistic
And I stutter and stammer and come off like a dick
A pragmatic, hypocrite, pessimist
And I look myself in the face
And ask, "What was the fucking point anyway?
Why do I always have to complain?
Why can't I ever stay where I want to stay?
Why do I ascribe meaning to the mundane?
And ask, "What was the fucking point anyway?""
Life was shouting her answers in my ear
But after all the house shows, bars, and venues, my ringing ears could not hear
What did I expect her to say to me?
That everything's okay? It's not, and it never will be
That everything has a purpose? Someday it will all make sense?
Well fuck that! And fuck you! I don't need a master plan!
I've got everything I need
I've got you and you and you and you and you and you've all got me!
So let's stop living in the past
Let's stop living for the ever fleeting present
Let's stop living for what's next
Because eventually the only thing left is death
Let's stop living for a God that don't exist
Let's stop living for those who see us as votes and statistics
Let's stop living for country, creed, race, class, and sect and
Let's start living for each other because we're all that's left
We're the only thing that's left
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George Orwell and the Flying Typewriters Flint, Michigan
Folk-Punk(ish) band from Flint and Hartland, Michigan. You can also find us around Ypsilanti quite often. We love you.
Contact George Orwell and the Flying Typewriters
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